Women Who Ditch Their Friends Once They Get A Boyfriend.

For as much as single “women” prattle on about how utterly shittaytay “men” are, the second one of them manages to finagle a “boyfriend” (generally on the more fey and malleable side if he’s willing to be “pinned down”), all those previous comments about the assholery and uselessness of them fly out the window. In fact, all comments of any kind disappear as you’re never likely to see or hear from your friend again now that she’s secured semi-steady “dick.” And it’s emphasis on the semi comes from the reality that “men” aren’t half as libidinous as women anymore.

You might catch glimpses of your friend now and again at major events like her bridal shower or wedding. If you’re lucky, she might even make a cameo at your birthday party. If it’s a milestone. Especially one like forty, when she can really feel superior about how “Thank god it’s not me who’s still alone at that age.” But maybe what it really is about “women” who get “boyfriends” abandoning their former confidantes is that the primary thing that once bound them together–seeing “men” as little assholes–has vanished. Now you’re the little asshole for attempting to possess integrity in not settling for a “man” just because he was willing to. Then again, there’s also this: you can’t fuck your friend. Unless, of course, she doesn’t end up finding someone and things do get that desperate.

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Women (White, Or Otherwise) Who Have Dreadlocks.

Dreadlocks aren’t a good look on anyone: “men,” “women,” black, white–whatever. But the “women” of a Caucasian background that somehow feel obliged to adopt the look for the “Rasta lifestyle” they slip into after smoking weed a few times and securing a black boyfriend à la Julia Stiles in Save the Last Dance are of particular note when it comes to causing offense with this hairstyle. Once they’ve lost the black boyfriend and merely settled on a “casual” white drug dealer in a band, the dreads persist–after all, they’re rather difficult to just “get rid of” once a white girl has committed (a.k.a. possessing gnarly hygiene is so much more comfortable–no muss, no fuss).

Then again, the dreadlocks worn by those claiming to adhere to Rastafarianism aren’t exactly the ones with the monopoly on the looque. Egyptians were the first to lay claim via archaeological evidence to the trend (though many trace its birthplace to India). When Rastafarianism appropriated the tenets of Hindu and African tribal culture mixed with the Old Testament, somehow the black Jamaican population became the only one permitted to sport the style without causing an outrage. And white “girls” are at the top of that list (especially after a Marc Jacobs runway show).

In truth, however, there’s this: just no one wear dreadlocks, ever. It does not enhance your power, as previously thought by the ancients, but merely detracts from it.